Dog Behavior: Jealous Dog versus Possessive Dog

By Linda Cole

It’s not always easy to determine if your dog is acting out because he’s trying to protect you or is a jealous or possessive dog. Sometimes it could be all three, but there is a difference between the behaviors. Just because a dog is jealous doesn’t necessarily mean he’s possessive or protective. Your job is to figure out what’s bothering him before you can address his behavior.

A possessive dog is trying to dominate and control. He may claim his toys, food bowl, sleeping area or owner as his own. Other dogs, cats and humans can be as risk from a dog that feels he has to protect his things. An adult or child that accidentally gets too close to a toy may be bitten. Two dogs may get into a fight over food if a possessive dog thinks the other dog is too close. He may even growl at you if you approach his food bowl, whether it’s empty or full. The possessive dog sees a threat, but unlike a protective dog doing his job, possessive behavior keeps a dog on high alert and he won’t back down, even though there’s no real threat.

When a dog showing possessive behavior growls, snaps, whines or attacks another pet or person, he’s telling you he feels insecure, confused, and has a lack of confidence. He’s always on guard and stressed out. And when people tease a stressed out, insecure dog, he uses aggression to protect himself because in his mind, his owner isn’t protecting him. He’s afraid someone or another dog will take something he cherishes. Aggression is a serious issue that needs to be dealt with immediately. Anytime your dog is showing aggression, have your vet check him out to make sure there’s no medical issue bothering him. You may need the help of an animal behaviorist to deal with a possessive dog’s aggression.

The jealous dog sees other people or pets as a rival for your attention and love. He tries to force himself in between you and someone else or another pet. He may challenge a spouse when they try to snuggle next to you on the couch or in bed. A jealous dog may attack another pet that gets too close to you. He’ll try to push another pet away so he can get your attention. He’s afraid of losing your love and attention.

If you need to change an unwanted behavior, only reward your dog for acting in a way you expect him to act. When your dog tries to come between you and another person, simply ignore his behavior. If you’re sitting on the couch when he’s trying to get between you, stand up. Don’t say anything, don’t touch him, and don’t look at him – just stand up. Affection is something you give to your dog on your terms, not his. By ignoring his behavior, you’re teaching him his behavior is not acceptable and he won’t get your attention until he’s calm with all four feet on the floor. Using your body language is the best way to teach him because dogs are experts at reading even our body language.

A protective dog is showing a natural behavior when he reacts in an aggressive way if he feels you’re in danger. Some dog breeds were specifically bred to guard their family and home. Don’t interpret a dog being protective as jealous or possessive. He focuses in on another dog, person or situation that requires his full attention. When he determines there’s no threat, he relaxes and backs down from alert mode. Protecting his pack is one of his main duties.

Jealous or possessive behavior can be changed once you know why your dog is acting a certain way. Both behaviors can turn into aggression if they’re not addressed and corrected. Change is not in a dog’s vocabulary and they prefer nothing changes in their lives. Unfortunately, that’s not how life works, so we need to understand that a move to a new home, a new baby, a new roommate or new pets in a dog’s life may affect him.

It’s important to keep your dog socialized with new people, other dogs and cats, and give him an opportunity to experience new things. Make sure he has plenty of exercise and stimulation to keep his body and mind healthy. It’s important to be your dog’s leader and maintain a daily routine. The routine you establish with him gives your dog a sense of security when he knows what to expect throughout the day, e.g., when he will eat, go outside for potty breaks, walks and playtime. However, a spontaneous walk or playtime is always welcomed, and grabbing some CANIDAE dog treats for a training session helps him learn what you expect from him, teaches him good manners, and helps you keep him under control.

Photo by AnnieCatBlue

Read more articles by Linda Cole

The personal opinions and/or use of trade, corporate or brand names, is for information and convenience only. Such use does not constitute an endorsement by CANIDAE® All Natural Pet Foods of any product or service. Opinions are those of the individual authors and not necessarily of CANIDAE® All Natural Pet Foods.

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19 thoughts on “Dog Behavior: Jealous Dog versus Possessive Dog

  1. Hi all, my dog keeps having random behavioral issues with my bf. She is a small 5lb dog and has always have social issues. It took months for her to finally stop barking at him while coming in or walking around the apartment. But now, when I’m not there she hides or waits until he is asleep and lays on him then runs when he awakes. He feels insecure about her acting out and constantly asking me to put her in the kennel or in another room. When I am home, she runs to me and him, she hop in both our laps, licking him to pet her, and even following him for treats. As weird as it sounds, I know my dog can be manipulative. My bf took a toy from her that she stole from the our other dog; to get back it him, she walked over to his bag, looked at him, then squated to pee on it. She is my baby and he is my love, I don’t want to lose either, what should I do, please help.

  2. My dog Destin changes personalities. She behaves like an angel with me the kids and my dad when my husband is not home. When my husband arrives she turns aggressive against me the kids and dad and even snaps at my husband turns into a very spoiled dog. She is a 1 yr oldGerman Sheherd and we have had her since she was 4 wks. Even her eyes change like she gets possessed. She jumps on you scratches and bites. Please help!!! I have gotten to the point that I have told my husband we can not keep her she bites company people avoid visiting.

  3. I have a 5 year old terrier poodle. He is constantly barking and growling at wife. My wife doesn’t like dogs and is afraid of them. Any suggestions

  4. I have a 15 week old bull terrier puppy and he spends every minute of every day with me as I do not work and as you can imagine as a result of this, he is very possessive of me. We also have another puppy, he is a little 6 month old jack russell. Whenever I sit on the ground with my puppy and have a play the other pup likes to join in, which isn’t a problem I love them both and want to play with them both, BUT the bully pup gets super defensive if he comes over at all. I don’t know how to combat this and I need help! because when my bully pup gets bigger i’m worried he’s going to eat the little one one day :(

  5. I have a three year old Chihuahua and I really need help understanding why she does the things she does. She likes to lay on my chest and lay her face or head on my face. Munchkin also hates it when my soon to be wife loves on me, rubs or even touches me. She’ll get in the middle of us by getting on my chest and putting her face in my face, sniffing my eyes mouth and ears. Can someone plz explain why she does this to me and wat does it mean. Ik that it’s a sign of jealousy but wat can I do to stop it. Oh yea she stares in my eyes like she’s lost her bff….desperately seeking help. Ty

  6. I am also having this issue. I have a lab/pit mix (male) named clutch who is a little over a year. My husband rarely discipline’s him where as I do because I feel he is always doing something he shouldn’t be. My husband feels almost as if my dog should be allowed to perform all human behavior and i disagree. Also my husband has had the dog sleeping in the bed since he was a puppy. Now he is WAY to big and I want him OFF. I don’t know how to break this habit and when i kick him off the bed he barks and becomes aggressive like i shouldn’t be telling him what to do. My dog has NEVER bit me and knows biting is bad but when it comes to my husband I cannot even get a hug or kiss in when he walks in the door from work because my dog is so over possessive and jealous. I CANNOT touch my husband without my dog barking at us or trying to push his way in between us. My husband says the dog is just excited to see him and wants love but I feel like it is a constant battle between me and the dog. Almost sometimes like were both fighting over my husband and attention. It is almost like the dog feels he owns my husband therefore no one else can touch him because my husband is “his”. Has anyone ever had this problem? Does anyone have any advice for me. My husband is no longer supporting or calling my dog on the bed but in the middle of the night my dog constantly disobeys and tries to get on the bed. We have gotten him a bed and Ive been practicing telling him to go to his bed and telling him no when i boot his butt off the bed but every time I tell my dog something or he gets in trouble he barks and tests me to the point i toss him in his kennel. Its like he feels he does not have to listen to me whatsoever. someone please help me!!

  7. I’m having quite an issue with a PitBull that keeps coming back to me. I keep trying to find her a home and in the past three times, she has attacked another dog, almost killing one. This is so new to me because she had never acted this way before. I just wanted to cry when I witnessed the last fight. Since the fight, she has become more aggressive towards people she lived with in my home. I seem to be the only person she never acts differently with. I cannot have a dog that continually wants to attack one of the dogs in my home repeatedly or send her to homes where other dogs live with such aggression. I’m terrified of her getting put down and if I was financially stable, I wouldn’t be searching to find her a new home as I do not own any of the other dogs myself. Just her. This switching from home to home can’t be helping her, but I can’t be okay with sending her somewhere when she is acting progressively more and more vicious. She seems to only get along with me or if children are around, she is happy. But not any other adults or animals. I need help. I can’t afford to have her trained, I can’t even afford a muzzle. The only reason she has food is because the people I live with buy it, anyway and she was already up to date on her shots. Ever since I lost my job, she has had to jump from home to home because no one will devote as much attention to her as she needs and it’s getting to the point where even when she ran away after a fight from another attempt of an owner, she was on her way to my house. I wish the sweet thing could stay. She acts like she only belongs to me, but I can’t have her. I don’t know what I can do with zero money to try to change her behavior. In all the situations, it involved another dog approaching her owners. This time, it was a dog belonging in the house walking to me and she attacked the dog. Someone please give me some advice. I’m not putting her down. She is so lovable towards me, just so weird or angry towards everyone else. She doesn’t want anyone near me.

  8. I really need some advice for a dog I’m fostering, Winston. I’m very very nervous for him, and any advice would be greatly appreciated. He is a pit mix, which is why I’m extra nervous about anything aggressive. Winston is one of the sweetest dogs I’ve ever met, truly. He is 6y/o and I don’t believe ever mistreated, but his owners surrendered him to the shelter and it just seems like they had no clue how to train a dog whatsoever, he seems like a puppy. But for the most part, he is a great dog, just a handful. I’ve literally only heard Winston bark a handful of times, and it’s usually just playful or he can’t wait to get his food. But today we were walking and there was another really sweet dog, owner asked if he was friendly and I said yes, they played no problem everything was fine. Even when I was petting the other dog, not Winston, no problem. So this guy starts playing with Winston and as usual Winston is just hugging him and licking, just soaking up the attention. After a few minutes, as the two of us are talking and he’s still petting Winston, his dog comes over and he’s petting the two of them at the same time. Out of nowhere, Winston barks VICIOUSLY and snaps, luckily not biting the guy but he definitely could have! I had never ever witnessed anything like this before, and honestly I didn’t think he had an aggressive bone in his body. There have been plenty of times I’ve pet other dogs and he’s played with other dogs… I haven’t seen this. The guy was incredibly patient and knowledgeable and had Winston sniff his (incredibly calm and sweet) dog to reassure him and try to correct the behavior. Cautiously, he tried the same thing again, and the vicious barking and snapping happened again. the thought of Winston being put down terrifies me, especially because he is a pit. So my question is, once you identify the aggression, HOW do you train them otherwise?? Any articles, info, or suggestions would be very much appreciated.

  9. Great article! I have a year old cattle dog/retriever mix. She is sweet and non-aggressive around people, but when we bring her to the dog park she can be aggressive towards other dogs when a ball is involved. If she is playing rough with a bunch of dogs she will occasionally snap and start a real fight. Both of these behaviors happen sporadically, and its difficult to tell when good fun will head south. If anyone has any tips I would love to hear them!

  10. I have a dog thats completly disobediant ive tried to ignore him he wants his own way like walks or food and begs when me and partner eat even if he has had his own he picks up and eats other dogs feaces and now cause i ignore him he shakes when i go near him like im gonna hurt him and im not that kinda person dont know what to do vet cant advise me does anyone else have advice plz

  11. I don’t like to be touched but, my dog doesn’t know that. She invades my space all the time. I let it go cause she’s a dog. However, my parent forces affection such as kissing. I hate it but, I can’t say anything cause I won’t have a place to live.

    So, as usual I’m chilling in the bed and watching chapins inferno and my parent is leaving so they come in to force some affection. I make no effort to kiss or anything. I’m frozen and my dog is on the opposite side of my parent. Im very uncomfortable as usual. He/she leans in and oh boy. She snapped. I had to pick her up and slam her on some pillows to restrain her. She literally jumped over me (10 pound dog) and played defense.

    Maybe she could sense by body language? I love this but, I had to protect my parent. I mean if I didn’t grab her. Oh boy. Weird thing is that the dog always chills with the parent over me and I’m cool with that. I gotta make sure she never sees me angry with someone. Lol it was like jam defender or something.

  12. Great article. I have a dog, Samson, who is very jealous of our other dog. If Scout comes too close or is getting too much attention, Samson will jump all over him. However, he doesn’t act this way toward anyone else (we have another dog, Sadie, and two cats) except Scout. For some reason, Scout is a threat. Anyone have any idea why that would be?

  13. I have a 4 yr old greyhound/lab mix, female. She is jealous of everyone and I belong to her. She has snapped at my small grandchildren and I am unsure how to handle it. I feel she is insecure and needs to be reassured that she is my baby and we can love the grandkids together. Not working.

  14. My 2 year old cockapoo recently started attacking the cat when we are eating if she comes near us. I assume it’s because he thinks she is going to get something over him. Should we stand up when he does this? The last time he did it I put him in the bedroom and didn’t let him out until we were done eating. Also, this weekend he went after a golden retriever. My boyfriend was laying on the ground and the golden came over kind of standing over my boyfriend and my dog flipped starting fighting with it until the golden fought back and my 15 lb cockapoo realized he met his match. The rest of the weekend I was worried he was going to instigate another fight with the golden. How do I correct this behavior?

  15. I have a great very social dog, however it seems that he is a jealous dog. He plays fine with the other dogs at the dog park. Yet if a dog comes over to me and I do more than just pet his head and ignore him, or if that dog keeps standing to close to me, my dog gets jealous & starts barking at him & being aggressive toward him. I spend a lot of time withy dog everyday, & make sure that we have our own play time. I want to stop this behavior, what can I do?

  16. I guess I have been lucky and have never had these problems. My dogs have always been good, not jealousy and not aggressive. I guess one reason is that I have always had a lot of animals so they know it won’t do them any good to be possessive.

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