Decoding the Secret Language of Pet Bloggers

By Julia Williams

It’s common knowledge that many twins have their own secret language, which allows them to communicate in a way that no one else can comprehend. What you may not know, however, is that pet bloggers also have a unique vernacular. When I first started reading pet blogs years ago, I often felt like I’d accidentally stumbled into a virtual foreign country where I couldn’t understand a lick of what was being discussed.

Turning to Google was little help, as the words and phrases I came across had not made it into the online urban dictionary. I didn’t want to brand myself as a newbie (even though I was) so I just kept reading. Some of the terms were easy to figure out because they were derivatives of popular animal-related words such as meow, paw and cat. Other times the meaning of a word could be inferred from considering the context.

It hit me the other day that I now use most of these words without even thinking about them. Woot! I am finally fluent in the Secret Language of Pet Bloggers! I decided it would be fun to compile a list, so future newbies to the pet blogging world won’t have to wonder what someone means when they talk about beans, floof, green papers or the flashy beast. Even though some of the words and phrases below have become so commonplace that they show up in online dictionaries, there are many that don’t. So here you go: The Secret Language of Pet Bloggers, decoded. Use it as you wish.

Anipals: animal pals; blogger friends

Backside of Disrespect: when a pet turns his bum to you

Beans: human beings

Bird TV/Squirrel TV: what cats watch at the window

Blogoversary: the anniversary of when a blog began

BOL/MOL: bark out loud/meow out loud (variation of LOL)

Brofur/Sisfer: a pet’s brother or sister

Bunny Kick: when a cat uses his back legs to kick a stuffed toy

Catloaf: sitting with the feet tucked under, forming a loaf

Catitude: a cat with an attitude

Catification: creating feline-friendly environments that cater to a cat’s natural instincts to climb, perch, rest and play.

Chick-hen: chicken

Concatulations: congratulations

Cone of Shame: the Elizabethan collar worn by a pet to prevent them from licking their wounds

Crazypants: weird or crazy

Flashy Beast or Flashy Box: camera

Floofy:  furry, fluffy

Furiend: friend

Furbulous: fabulous

Fursibs: a pet’s animal siblings

Furs: a pet’s fur (note the plural)

Furminated: getting groomed with a Furminator

Fur Baby: a person’s pet

Furever Home: forever home

Gotcha Day: the anniversary of the day a pet is adopted

Green Papers: money

Headbonk: butting you affectionately with their head

Head Peeps: the humans

Hoo-ha-ectomy/Ladygardenectomy: neutering/spaying

House Panther: black cat

Jellybeans: paw pads

Kitty Bits/Man Bits: what an unaltered male has

Kitty Crack: catnip; sometimes used to mean dry cat food

Ladycat: female cat

Making Biscuits: kneading

Mancat: male cat

Meowster: a cat

Meowmy: a pet’s “Mommy”

Meowza!: variant of yowza used as an exclamation

Meowvalous: marvelous

Mouses!: an exclamation used to express surprise, anger, disbelief, etc.

Nip Club: an online Twitter pawty for anipals

Niptini: a drink you can order at the Nip Club

Nip Nanner: a catnip toy shaped like a banana

Noms: food

Oh My Cod: variant of the exclamatory Oh My God!

Pawdicure: pedicure

Pawparazzi: paparazzi

Pawrent: parent

Pawty: party

Pawsome: awesome

Pawmazing: amazing

Pee Mail: a message left for other animals

PTU: Prisoner transport unit/pet transport unit

Purrfect: perfect

Purrthday: a cat’s birthday

Snoopervise: the act of supervising the humans

Snorgle: burying your face in your pet’s floof

Squillion: a very large number

Staff: the humans

Stabby Place/Dr. Stabby: the vet

Stinky Goodness: wet cat food

Suck Monster: the vacuum

Sun Puddle: ray of sunshine on the floor

Tocks: the buttocks; lauded in Tocktober (October)

Toehawk: long toe hair that resembles a Mohawk

THoE: thundering herd of elephants

Toona: tuna fish

Tutored: neutered

UTB: under the bed

Woofie/Goggie: a dog

Zoomies: racing around the house

Keep in mind, this is not a complete list of Pet Blogger Speak. There were far too many words to include them all in a blog post! However, if I have overlooked any that you consider essential to the Secret Language, please share them in the comments.

*****

Photos, top to bottom:

MrTinDC
Jellykitten26
Steve Jurvetson
Agirlnamednee
Bart Everson

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16 thoughts on “Decoding the Secret Language of Pet Bloggers

  1. Now every one will be knowing what we kids are talking about. May need to get some new words going!

    Squillions, besides being a big number is a ceramic cat that was popular and founded by us for the firsted time on Feb 28, 2006. Our little beauty Virginger coined the word cuz she knew she had lots and lots of littermates looking for good homes. Now there are virtual Squllions as well.

  2. Julia, great list and now I have explanations of the kitty terms all in one place! When I first started blogging, I hadn’t a clue and did a lot of guessing. Cat bloggers like us having our own language makes it all much more fun!

  3. Concatulations on your dictionary ! As non-native English speaker, we learned the blogger cat language step by step by reading the comments, and guessing the meaning of each word. We know that we use many of them correctly even if we don’t exactly know the “good English” translation of it ! Purrs

  4. We r Shiloh’n Diva Shasta (also Mom Kim) – sum of the language we uze in our own postz wuz d-veloped by us an’uzed only by us. HOWEVER, there r sum termz widely uzed in the dog an’cat blogospherez. (by the way, the “z” is uzed by us instead of the “s” such as Beaglebratz)

    POTP – Power Of The Paw – uzed when a pet needz prayerz.

    WOWZERS! – u can probably figure that one out.

    We haf noticed that when a cat blogger askz fur prayerz – we often c the word purrayers.

    Blogville – this iz where us petz reside- Blogville iza pet blogger community.

    Theze r the onez we can think of now – if we r’member otherz , we will come bak with anuther comment. By the way – when we started bloggin’we also hadta lern the language of Blogville.

  5. MOL! We love that you shared this list, Julia. We, too, remember thinking, “what the heck?” when our first time reading a lot of these words. Now we’re fluent! :)

  6. THIS WAS CATABULOUS!!!!! Years and years ago (probably when I first began blogging) I did a post along these lines but due to my inexperience and the short time I had been blogging at that time, my list was no way as comprehensive and great as this one! Just tweeted this!

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