Hi CANIDAE furiends! The Warden said I should be doing something productive – like writing a blog post for you – instead of catnapping all day and playing with my vast collection of furry mice all night. Say what? Just so you know, I actually think catnapping is very serious business when you’re a feline. However, I agreed to put my paws to the keyboard because the topic she suggested was How to Read Your Cat’s Mind and frankly, I’m pretty sure I am the Best Mancat for the job. I wrote the book on that. No wait. Technically I didn’t…but I could have!!
You see, reading your cat’s mind is really not that difficult, once you master the basics. It’s all about observing our behavior and our body language; what we do will tell you exactly what is on our devious feline minds. Every time! Let’s get started, shall we?
● When your cat jumps on the bed and licks your face in the wee hours of the morning, he’s not showing affection. He’s also not saying you are dirty and need a bath. No, this face-wetting behavior can mean only one thing: he thinks it’s high time you got up and dished out his breakfast of CANIDAE (that’s like a Breakfast of Champions for a cat!).
● When your cat jumps on the bed and proceeds to use your stomach as a trampoline – launching his lithe feline form across the bed, down to the floor and back to the other side, repeatedly – he’s not saying that he’s got pent up energy and wants to play. This behavior says the exact same thing as the face licking: get up and feed me NOW!!
● If you head toward the kitchen and your cat races you there (bonus points for tripping you) he’s not showing you his athletic side or hoping to impress you with his running skills. He’s simply saying “I know you keep my cat treats in this room, and you shall give me some because I am giving you my pitiable ‘I’m starving!’ look that you are powerless to resist.”
● When you’re eating, does your cat stare at you? Put his paw on your plate? Do you have to eat with your plate held in the air? If you leave food on the kitchen counter and go out of the room for a millisecond, is the food gone when you return? Your cat is saying the same thing with all of these behaviors: “What’s mine is mine, and what’s yours is mine, too. Get over it.”
● Does your cat jump on your desk and paw at your hand while meowing plaintively? Does he give you the stink eye if you keep typing, ignoring his obvious distress? He’s clearly saying “It’s one minute past my nightly treat time! Don’t you know I’m a creature of habit? What kind of a cat butler are you, anyway?”
Are you sensing a theme here? It’s true. I will go out on a limb and suggest that nine times out of ten, when your cat is trying to communicate with you, it involves food. What’s he trying to say that other one time? Most likely, it involves you doing his bidding. Such as: sit down so I can hijack your soft, warm lap. Or: my litter box demands your attention. Or: get my brush and make my furs pretty. Or: I just wanted to tell you how much I love you. Ha ha!
That last one might sound a little farfetched, but let me be clear. We most certainly do say that to our Wardens/Butlers/Staff once in awhile because we know it keeps you hooked. We charm you by telling you how much we adore you because you are, after all, the keeper of the kibble.
Yes…it really is that simple.
Love and kitty licks,
Top photo by Tom Thai
Middle photo by xuilla
Bottom photo by Commodore Gandalf Cunningham
Read more articles by Rocky Williams