I do not necessarily think cats stay up all night dreaming up ways they can embarrass us. Sometimes it seems like they do, though, given the number of awkward moments we endure thanks to our feline friends. However, since I have no actual proof, I can’t make such accusations.
Perhaps it’s coincidental that embarrassing things just seem to happen whenever there’s a cat present. Yeah, right. I just heard my cat snicker behind my back. Oh, but I think I read somewhere that surviving mortification builds character, so perhaps we should be grateful to our cats for helping us be better humans? Yes, I’m sure that’s what they intended all along. Ha!
Whether by accident – or not – every cat will at some point do that “grooming of the privates” thing in front of your guests. Since it’s usually in the middle of the living room, I have a hard time believing the cat’s indecent exposure is unplanned, no matter how nonchalant they try to look. And I’m pretty sure that aside from embarrassing us, they like showing off just how much more flexible they are than us.
Naturally, I have suffered my share of embarrassment at the paws of the cat. Anyone who has “scaredy cats” will relate to this story: whenever a stranger comes in the house, my cats make a terrified mad dash to their hiding spot in the bedroom, trampling anything or anyone in their way. Dude, chill! It’s just the furnace repairman, not the evil spawn of Satan.
When I was moving out of state, a former client came to look at my collection of large flower pots I wanted to sell. Keep in mind, we didn’t have a social relationship; I’d only interacted with her in a business setting. She asked to use my bathroom and when she emerged, she looked like she’d just witnessed something horrifying that would change her forever. “There’s some kind of dead critter in there,” she whispered. Uh oh! I look, whereupon I find half of a gopher, guts and all, in the middle of the floor.
Another memorable moment came during a dinner party at my house. We were in the middle of eating when, for reasons I simply cannot fathom, my cat Tosha jumped onto the table, raced across it leaping over plates, food bowls etc., and then jumped down and disappeared. The whole thing took all of two seconds, but we were all stunned… and then had a good laugh.
Here are some funny stories from my cat friends:
Patty Leonard Woodland: I only have a picture (see cat at right).
Tonya Woodruff: Angel Prancer Pie used to rummage through women’s purses. Anybody’s purse – mine, the neighbors, friends, it didn’t matter! MOL!
Cathy Keisha: I have a great one that involved the cat before me. TW was playing with him and an elastic string. He went after the string but got TW instead in a tender spot. They were in the foyer and I’m sure everyone in the next apartment and hall heard TW yelling “Get it out of my @$$!” HAH! I’m sure they didn’t know it was a cat.
Bonnie Koenig: The cat we had when I was a child used to like to crawl up on people and start smelling their underarms.
Peggy McNamara: At the vet once my cat, Lilly, was being held by the vet. Lilly was so scared she started pooping right then and there and the poops were dropping into the vet’s pocket on her lab coat. I was laughing hysterically, but don’t think the vet thought it was too funny.
Rene Schweitzer: When Sadie was a kitten, she stole feminine products from my bathroom and played with them on the back stairwell. The photo (at right) is of her playing with her “toy.”
Julie Church Cat Mackenzie: Can you imagine a church cat raising his leg to clean himself right in front of the altar during the most solemn part of the Mass…and people trying not to laugh? Anything a cat can do at home, it’s even better when people are praying!
Karen Thompson: All of mine clean themselves all over no matter if we have guests or not.
What about you? What has your cat done to embarrass you?
Top photo by Chris Dilworth
Middle photo by Patty Leonard Woodland
Bottom photo by Rene Schweitzer
Read more articles by Julia Williams