By Julia Williams
I do not necessarily think cats stay up all night dreaming up ways they can embarrass us. Sometimes it seems like they do, though, given the number of awkward moments we endure thanks to our feline friends. However, since I have no actual proof, I can’t make such accusations.
Perhaps it’s coincidental that embarrassing things just seem to happen whenever there’s a cat present. Yeah, right. I just heard my cat snicker behind my back. Oh, but I think I read somewhere that surviving mortification builds character, so perhaps we should be grateful to our cats for helping us be better humans? Yes, I’m sure that’s what they intended all along. Ha!
Whether by accident – or not – every cat will at some point do that “grooming of the privates” thing in front of your guests. Since it’s usually in the middle of the living room, I have a hard time believing the cat’s indecent exposure is unplanned, no matter how nonchalant they try to look. And I’m pretty sure that aside from embarrassing us, they like showing off just how much more flexible they are than us.
Naturally, I have suffered my share of embarrassment at the paws of the cat. Anyone who has “scaredy cats” will relate to this story: whenever a stranger comes in the house, my cats make a terrified mad dash to their hiding spot in the bedroom, trampling anything or anyone in their way. Dude, chill! It’s just the furnace repairman, not the evil spawn of Satan.
When I was moving out of state, a former client came to look at my collection of large flower pots I wanted to sell. Keep in mind, we didn’t have a social relationship; I’d only interacted with her in a business setting. She asked to use my bathroom and when she emerged, she looked like she’d just witnessed something horrifying that would change her forever. “There’s some kind of dead critter in there,” she whispered. Uh oh! I look, whereupon I find half of a gopher, guts and all, in the middle of the floor.