Category Archives: Julia Williams

5 Books That Cats Could Write

cat books lifeBy Julia Williams

If I’d told someone ten years ago that cat authors would soon be all the rage, they’d have laughed me out of town. Back in those “dark ages,” felines just didn’t write books. I don’t think it was because cats didn’t have anything to say, though. I think the primary reason cats didn’t write books until recently was that they hadn’t realized they could command a human to do their transcribing!

Once felines got over the hurdle of not having opposable thumbs, cat books began popping up everywhere, and many have become bestsellers. The Dalai Lama’s cat covered a very important feline topic in The Art of Purring. Sparkle the Designer Cat offered sage advice for a feline’s most pressing problems in her two books. Felines explored the world of poetry in I Could Pee on This: And Other Poems by Cats. Psychokitty Max Thompson is a prolific feline author, with five books to date including The Rules: A Guide For People Owned By Cats.

So you see, cats writing books is nothing new. However, I don’t think cats have even scratched the surface of all of the topics they’re qualified to write about. Here are just a few.

1.  How to Fit Into Practically Anything

The postal service slogan “If it fits, it ships” inspired a hilarious cat version “If I fits, I sits” which the clever meme-makers had a field day with. So I thought since cats know a thing or two about fitting into the most unlikely places – including itty bitty fish bowls and boxes five times too small – they could write this informative guidebook in the style of the classic How to Clean Practically Anything.

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Hide and Sleep: Funny Places to Find a Cat

hide and sleep wylieBy Julia Williams

Last week as I was engaging in my favorite stress reducing time waster (aka Facebook), I happened upon the funniest video of a cat trying to squeeze into a small, empty fish bowl. The cat tried for several minutes to get into that bowl, and I couldn’t stop watching. I was sure he was too big to fit in there, but it was entertaining to watch him try. Lo and behold, he got in! I can only imagine his owner’s face the first time they walked in and saw their cat in a tiny fish bowl.

The video reminded me of all the times I’ve found one of my cats in a funny place. I wish I could say I took a photo every time it happened to me. Alas, I have not. Nor have I saved any of the hilarious photos I’ve come across over the years. Luckily, whenever I want to laugh at the antics of cats, it’s easy to find videos and photos online. I am thankful that others are not so lax at capturing those impromptu silly things cats do.

hide and sleep belleMy all-time favorite funny place I found my cat was in a large turkey roasting pan. It was a few days before Thanksgiving, and I’d gotten the roaster out of storage and set it on top of the dryer. When I walked into the laundry room and saw Annabelle curled up in there, fast asleep, I could not stop laughing! I also got a kick out of finding her hanging out with my collection of stuffed wolves. Likewise, seeing Rocky chilling out on top of my espresso maker is always good for a chuckle.

Like the ubiquitous box, it seems that vases, fruit bowls, baskets, suitcases and strange containers of all sizes are also cat magnets. Kittens have even been known to curl up in tiny teacups! I have the cutest photo of Annabelle at about 8 weeks old, fast asleep in my slipper. My cat Mickey likes to dig most of the dish towels out of the kitchen drawer and sleep in there; that always cracks me up.

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5 Fascinating Facts about a Cat’s Whiskers

whiskers trishBy Julia Williams

Have you ever looked at your cat’s cute face and wondered if those whiskers served a purpose, and what that might be? I have, so I decided to find out and share it with all of you. Perhaps “fascinating” is a bit of a stretch, but it turns out that cat whiskers are pretty remarkable things.

Whiskers – also called vibrissae or tactile hairs – are thicker and more deeply rooted than your cat’s normal hair, and serve several functions. Because whiskers are rich in nerve endings, they are important sensory tools for a cat. Here are five more fun facts I discovered about cat whiskers.

Cats Whiskers Measure an Opening

There are four rows of whiskers on each side of a cat’s muzzle; the top two rows can move independently from the bottom two rows. Because the whiskers on a cat’s muzzle are approximately equal to her body width, they help to determine how wide an opening is. When a cat puts its head through the opening, she’s checking out the surroundings while simultaneously doing a “whisker check” to see if she can fit through the hole. If the whiskers brush the sides of the hole, the cat knows her body won’t fit.

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Pet Peeves: 10 Things Cats Hate

pet peeves ireneBy Julia Williams

Although it’s true that all cats are individuals with unique likes and dislikes, one can reasonably come up with a list of feline pet peeves that will apply to most cats. As with anything, there are exceptions. It’s up to us as responsible pet owners to get to know our BFFs (best feline friends) well enough to recognize what they do and don’t like. We can’t eliminate everything they hate, of course; some things are unavoidable and some are necessary for their wellbeing. Here are 10 things to consider.

Loud Noises

Many cats are terrified of fireworks, thunder and loud car noises such as honking, backfires and screeching tires. Raucous parties and arguing humans are also on the list of things that disturb cats. Even a very loud sneeze from you can spook a skittish kitty. You’ll know if your cat hates any of these things, because they will bolt for their safe place at the first sign of them.

Other Cats in “Their” Territory

All cats have a territorial nature; it’s instinctual. Even indoor kitties have what they perceive as their own territory, and they don’t appreciate it when other cats encroach upon it. Luckily, most felines in multi-cat households can learn to share territory and get along. One thing you can do is take care to treat all cats the same; trust me, they do notice inequality, and they definitely don’t like it. Some indoor cats are highly disturbed when they see a cat outside in “their” yard. In that case, close the blinds or distract them with a favorite toy.

Car Rides

Oh, the joy of taking your cat for a ride in the car. Their piercing screams will fray your nerves, but sometimes it’s unavoidable, such as visits to the vet or when you’re moving. For cats who hate car rides, there isn’t much you can to do alleviate their displeasure; you just have to bear it until you reach your destination. I have heard stories about cats who don’t mind car rides, but I’m pretty sure those are fables. If not, and your cat doesn’t pitch a fit in the car, consider yourself blessed.

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Decoding the Sleeping Positions of Cats

By Julia Williams

As I’ve mentioned here before, cat owners and bloggers have their own little language. Actually, there’s nothing little about it, as it consists of hundreds of unique words and phrases, with more being added every week. You probably won’t hear any of them on the street, but Catspeak permeates the blogging world.

One subset of this language refers to the sleeping positions of cats, and these have in turn become popular with the cat meme makers. Just do a Google image search for Cat Loaf, Monorail Cat, or Contortionist Cat, and you’ll be rewarded with countless funny memes. Be forewarned, though – this activity is addicting and can easily eat up half your day. (Don’t ask me how I know this!).

Here are a few common cat sleeping positions.

Cat Loaf

Picture a big, fluffy loaf of bread, and you’ll have a good idea what this cat position looks like. A Cat Loaf is when a cat sits with all four feet tucked under her body, which forms a rectangular loaf shape. Judging by the number of memes and photos online, the Cat Loaf is one of the most prevalent feline positions.

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What Your Cat is Really Thinking

By Rocky Williams, feline guest blogger

It should come as no surprise to even the most intellectually challenged human among you that what you believe your cat thinks versus what your cat is really thinking, is never the same thing. Never! We are different species after all; we just don’t have the ability to think alike. Some would argue that cats don’t think at all, but none of those types would ever be reading a pet blog, so they don’t count. Besides, anyone with eyes can see the wheels turning in their cat’s brain, which is surely proof that we are capable of deep thoughts. Right?

For the sake of argument, let’s all agree that cats do think, although I admit it’s not always profound. Sometimes it’s more along the lines of “show me the cat food!” thinking, especially for a self-professed foodie feline like me. Nine times out of ten, I’m thinking of food. When will I eat again? What flavor will I get today? How stinky will the stinky goodness be? If I meow incessantly, will she give me more CANIDAE treats? But I digress.

Cats also act according to our own feline view of the world, which is not the same as the human one. And yet, my own human constantly surprises me with her inability to get that simple concept. She’s convinced that I rub up against her leg out of some deep-seated desire to show her my undying love. Ha ha meow! I only do that to make sure she never leaves the house looking like a person who does not have a cat, which IMO is the saddest human of all!

I put my paws together to come up with some other scenarios to illustrate the difference between what a human is thinking and what a cat is thinking.

When the Human is Eating

Human: “Kitty, I just fed you. Why must you always try to steal my food when I am eating?”
Cat: “Why must you wave that tantalizing piece of chicken in front of my face? How am I supposed to grab it off your fork if you won’t hold it still for me?”

When the Human is in the Bathroom

Human: “Trust me kitty…there is nothing for you to see in here. Please stop scratching at the door to get in.”
Cat: “Human? Are you OK in there? Human? Oh no! I must save her! If she drowns, who will feed me?”

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