Funny Pet Names

December 19, 2013

By Langley Cornwell

Most of us put a good deal of thought into what we’re going to call our new pet. Usually, their name reveals something about our own interests or personality. I get a kick out of learning what my friends call their pets. Here are some of the funny pet names they shared with me.


My friend Wendy used to walk with a lady on the beach who named her dog Taxi. Every time she called her dog, people thought she was a nut, going down the beach yelling “TAXI!”

Laurie has two cats that are brothers…Isaac and Figg, you know, the Newton brothers. And Patricia’s mom had a dog named Seiko. Can you guess why?

Sports Themed

Sports related names include Tiffany’s dog Kobe, because she’s a big Lakers fan. Caren’s beagle mix is named Philadelphia: Philadelphia Beagle (her husband is a Philadelphia Eagles fan).

Ken once had a black cat named Demon and the cat’s mother’s name was Deacon – named for the fighting Demon Deacons of Wake Forest University. His current cat is named Kasay after the ex-kicker on the Carolina Panthers football team.

One of our dogs, Big Al, is named after the University of Alabama football team’s mascot.

Appearance or Activity based

Wendy has a dog that gets into all kinds of crazy trouble. The dog’s name is Johnny WALKER Red because he’s the reddest golden you’ve ever seen and he always acts like he’s had a few shots of whisky.

Vera calls her three-legged dog Tripod. Suzanne’s one-eyed yorkie is called One-Eyed Jack and her white Pekinese is Marilyn Monroe. My friend Richard has Samuel L. Jackson, a little black haired dog who looks like—you guessed it—Samuel L. Jackson. And Laurie’s one-eyed kitty is named ARRRRtimis, and you have to say his name like a pirate.

Lou Ann has a cat named Evinrude because his purr sounds like a motor boat. Beth’s neighbor had an old cat that was nearly blind and always missed the litter box. The wife loved the cat and was taking extreme measures to keep him alive. The husband referred to the cat as “Almost Dead Kitty.” Hence, the cat was called that by everyone, including the wife, for the rest of his long life.

Foster Fails

Juniper used to babysit for a family with a dog named Boy Dog. She also has a friend with a chow named The Chow. Both dogs were named as a result of the “We’re not going to name this stray or we’ll end up keeping it” mindset.

Mary Mac jokingly named one of her foster dogs Arnold Ziffel. Now they’ve foster failed and have a dog named after a pig.

Upper Crust

Kelly’s Pomeranian was The Grand Vicissitude Lestat. Molly’s Old English Sheepdogs are pretentious dogs, so they get pretentious names: Rwoulph Beardsley (she claims the dog can say his name), Harrison Belvedere, and Bentley Horatio. Juniper once had a black cat named Bela Lugosi and a Labrador named Vladimir the Impaler. Linda’s mom’s dog was named Sir Gooch Winston.

Honorable Mentions

One of Kim Morgan’s dogs is named Captain Jack, which is the name he was given at the animal shelter.  Did you catch her last name? When they call the Morgan’s at the vet’s office, the girls always giggle and holler, “CAPTAIN MORGAN!”

Maggie’s doxies are named Pippin and Frodo, and Tom has a dog named Shadowfax.

When Scot was young, his family had two dogs named Bo and Luke (after the Dukes of Hazard). The funny thing was that the names would switch between them. They were usually together, and whichever dog they saw first was Bo. So, one might be Bo at the time, but ten minutes later the other might be Bo.

Sebia’s Peek-a-poo is named Chow Mein. Richard has a dog called Miss Beasley and another one named Pound Cake, and Will has a Puggle named Hippo.

Lisa’s friend had a dog named Paper Clip, Kelly had a dog named Jelly, and Donna had a pet named Pepperoni Pepperoncini.

Laurie’s first cat was named Kashawagie Kumquat. Then there was Beulah Burple and Sarah Sphinx. Her chihuahua’s name is ChaCha Betty.

These are just some of the many responses I got to the question. What are some of the funniest pet names you’ve ever heard? Please share them with us in the comments section.

Top photo by Joel Sowers
Middle photo by John Pemble
Bottom photo by ActiveSteve

Read more articles by Langley Cornwell

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