Things Only a Cat Person Would Do

April 18, 2014

By Julia Williams

“Cat People” are a special breed. There’s really nothing too outlandish when it comes to the things a true cat person will do to keep their kitty content. Yes, we Cat People willingly suffer for the greater good of our feline friends. I mean…isn’t that Cat Commandment #1 in the adoption contract? I’m pretty sure it is, and I’m also positive cats know it’s mandatory that you cater to their every whim. They certainly act like it, and they didn’t just pull that “I’m the King of my Castle” attitude out of thin air, did they? No, your cat thinks you worship the ground he walks on…because you do.

I’ve recently discovered that there are some universal “Cat People” truths. I.E., there are things every diehard cat lover does at some point for their furry best friend’s happiness. Further, while these things might be seen as eccentric to the no-pet crowd, to Cat People they make perfect sense. I say that will full confidence, because I recently polled a large group of Cat People on this very subject, and certain “themes” emerged. Here are some:

We Don’t Wake Sleeping Felines

Cat People do many things to avoid waking the cat. We watch TV programs we don’t even like if there is a cat sleeping on our lap and the remote is out of reach. Forget about grabbing a snack, answering the phone or using the bathroom. Our food may get cold, our legs may go numb and we might nearly expire from thirst, but one look at the sleeping cat and everything else is forgotten.

When our kitty sleeps on the computer chair, Cat People sit on the edge to type. It’s not the least bit comfortable and sometimes makes sentences come out like this: I ki93te dkfill be te4 fjje. Yet the cat is blissfully unaware. My computer chair is one of Annabelle’s favorite sleeping spots. Even when she’s awake but lounging in the chair, she gives me such a pitiful “you’re not really gonna make me move?” look that I just can’t. So I suffer.

Cat People let their kitties sleep pretty much anywhere they want to, with few exceptions. When the cat chooses our favorite reading chair or the best TV viewing spot on the couch, we just find other places to sit. Moving the cat is unthinkable. Jennifer Niemi says “I have sat on the floor, as the couch in the family room was fully loaded.” Indeed!

Claire Bertolini says she will “sit on a stool to work at the office desk because the cat is sleeping on the chair.” I also push the chair to the side and get down on my knees to type. Though I don’t like that term Crazy Cat Lady, this act probably does border on insanity, and it’s very hard on my knees!!

I go outside to open my soup, so my cats won’t hear the sound and come running, expecting their Canidae cat food. Never mind that they just ate; they associate the can opener with cat food, and I can’t bear to see their hopeful faces and hear their pitiful “feed me” cries.

Cat People are Creative Problem Solvers

We store our bread, cookies and other goodies in the microwave because it’s the most cat-safe place. Karen Thompson says she “puts the fast food from the drive-through in the microwave to go wash my hands, so the cats won’t snatch it!”

We get creative when it comes to typing around the cat, too. Morgen Pittman says “I often type without being able to look at the keyboard because there is a cat on my chest between me and the laptop!” Bonnie Koenig sits farther from her keyboard so she can reach over the cat on her lap. Rene Schweitzer says she has “learned how to type with a cat head resting on my wrist.” Been there, done that!

Cat People are Flexible

We perform amazing contortionist acts to extract ourselves from the bed in the middle of the night without disturbing the cat sleeping by our side. I usually scoot my body toward the headboard inch by inch toward until I can “clear” the cat. When I return from my bathroom mission, invariably I find that the cat has moved over to my spot, which presents an entirely new dilemma: where can I sleep?

Linda C. Rodgers also performs acrobatic feats to get out of bed and says she has even “woken my husband to make him get up so I can get out on his side of the bed… P.S. He totally understands.”

Cat People are Accommodating

I let my cat sleep under the bed covers, even though I know there will be kitty litter on my sheets in the morning. Karen Thompson and Bonnie Koenig give their cats a lift to help them get a bug. Jeanne Kudich eats cereal standing up in the kitchen (to avoid her cat headbutting the bottom of the bowl). Connie KittyBlog has turned the fireplace on for the cats and left the electric blanket on for them.

Patricia Goodspeed won’t ask her husband to do anything while a cat or two are on his lap. She will also sleep on the edge of the bed on top of the covers so as not to disturb the cats. Carolyn Retallick will leave the heat on if her cat Austin is alone in the house and it is cold. Dean McCaughan leaves a tiny bit of cereal milk in his bowl for the cats, and Chuck Huss gives his cats a tiny bit of half & half when making coffee.

Cat People Aren’t Afraid to Be Silly

I thought I was the only human who made up songs to sing to their cat, using their names. As it turns out, according to my recent poll this activity is like some sort of Cat People “rite of passage.” Everyone does it, and we’re not ashamed to sing our cat songs in public!

Need proof? How about this: Caren Osrin Gittleman says “I used to sing The Bobo Song to my Angel Bobo! It was a song that I made up, and I used to sing it to him all the time! I even sang it at work!”

Ok…your turn. What things do you do for your cat that non-pet people just don’t get?

Top photo by ToMayz
Middle photo by Julia Williams
Bottom photo by Annie Mole

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